The Week of Suspension

I would like to open by saying that I try very hard to recognize that my children are not perfect. The idea that "they can do no wrong" is silly.....they are kids and will make mistakes and bad choices. If we adults do it, so can kids.

My brain and my heart have been very prepared to get called to the principals office for my daughter. She is feisty and will really fight when she needs (or feels the need) to. However what knocked me off my feet this week was getting called by the school pricipal regarding my son.....and having my son SUSPENDED for 4 days.

Bug (my son) and a few of his friends had been discussing some changes they wanted with the computer lab, and it escalated into a joke that involved breaking into the school. Now.....these boys are 11, and I know they are not going to really go through with it. However, I do agree that they cannot joke around about something that is illegal and/or will cause harm to another person or place. Better to have a slightly excessive punishment now in the 5th grade, than to go too light and have him think he can get away with something in High School that will show up on his record and keep him out of a college. And so he has been parked at home for the last week......and his room has never looked cleaner!!!

There are all kinds of discussions that can go on about how to handle such a situation, and what punishments are fair or excessive. However, I think what is interesting is how this affects you as a parent. The feelings of concern and disappointment are so heavy......and the desire to give in and just hug them and say "hey....let's not do this again" and then go get ice cream are overwhelming.

When we went through setting up his home punishment on top of the school punishment, it was so very hard. I think I cried more than Bug did....but it was pretty close. He felt so terrible about what had happened (and I am sure about getting caught) that it just broke my heart. Because of this he had to drop out of the school talent show which he had worked very hard for and had to audition for.....it was the highlight of the year for him I think. My heart was broken...it took everything I had to not wrap my arms around him and just say "it's ok". Had to keep reminding myself it really isn't ok.....but it will be.

Let's be honest....we all did KID things when we were young. We were stupid and made foolish choices....just like our kids do now. But I realize now that there is no way I could understand then the impact this had on my own parents. The worry, fear, and sadness must have been extraordinary!

Bug is a good kid. He is a GREAT kid. And all of this trouble has not changed my view on that in the slightest. I know he is just as great as before because he really knows what he did. He is remorseful. And if he wasn't a good kid, he would simply be angry with the situation. He has worked around the house, cleaned his rooms at both his fathers house as well as mine, done all of his homework, written an apology letter to the principal, and given up all his privledges (games, movies, etc) without a whine or complaint. When his sister, Bean, offered to let him play on the computer after her....he even told her "I can't until at least tomorrow."

Today is Sunday, and he will be going back to school tomorrow. He and his father will be meeting with the principal in the morning (Bug says he didn't want me there - just his dad) and Bug has an apology letter to read and give him. He has done so very well, that I want to let him have all of his privleges back. He has pacified himself by helping to coach his sister through all of the computer games and such when not in the midst of cleaning his room. I want to say "I love you....have at at" but I can't. I will be tough.....and just try to not seem mean.

But with any luck....this was just a one time thing for him. I am still sure this was just practice for me.....for when Bean gets into that row and throws her great right hook.

p.s. Sorry to my folks. Everytime something like this happens with my children....I am compelled for doing it to my parents. So....sorry. Again. :-)

The Importance of a Map

Have you ever tried to go somewhere without a map? Typically, we head toward new places with no less than directions....but a map can often be so much more clear; you can gauge distance and surroundings, and be far more successful in your journey.

What about going somewhere a bit more familiar? Maybe you have been there once or twice, but it has been a while. A map is far superior to memory, and a lifesaver when you come across changes such as traffic revisions, new landmarks, etc.

I am finding out that life, and in particular love, is more like a journey or road trip than I had ever realized. Love is shaping up to be the cross country car ride with your embarrassing grandparents to visit the largest ball of string and the oldest walnut tree, where you get car sick and your little brother just won't stop looking at you!


Once we have reached adulthood, usually we have been on a couple of these excursions. We have had crushes, been in love, been loved, and found heartbreak. In lucky cases, that journey turns out to be the romantic getaway to Paris with that special someone; where you enjoy the time even when the luggage gets lost and no one speaks English in the restaurant.

But when we are adults it is more and more important to have those maps. We no longer have our youth and vibrancy and stupidity to allow us to just blindly try over and over again. We have commitments and goals, and desires never thought of in our youth - and to not reach them all is devastating.

And love is that journey to somewhere familiar.....but not visited in a long time. No matter how many times you try, you know what you want, you recognize some of the signs around you, but you are never really sure of where to turn.

I have been dating someone recently in my life... and everyday I wish I had picked up a map back at the gas station. We seem to have the same idea of our destination, and when we talk the directions through they sound the same... yet I often find myself looking around at the stops and find myself alone. We get in touch, talk again, and start off on the road... only to find that somewhere we took different exits on the turnpike.

These latest stops are closer than ever to the "destination"....but it is still only me arriving there. This leaves me with two choices: wait for him and hope that he finds me while I sit scared and alone, or go on to where I want to be without him. It is like we both WANT to go to Disneyland and ride Space Mountain, but he parked in the Eeyore lot, and I have already taken the shuttle from the Timon lot and am almost to the entrance.

GET THE MAP AT THE GAS STATION!

SIT DOWN OVER COFFEE AND USE A YELLOW HIGHLIGHTER TO MARK THE PATH!

Don't just talk about the directions and where you want to go, outline the landmarks along the way.

Know that when you get to exit 72, you have gone too far.

Nothing Says Spring Like Icicles

Yay! Spring break has finally come. Not only does this signify that actual spring might be coming, but it is also the first vacation time of the year that I have with my kids. In the past, we usually stayed around home and didn't do much of anything. This year I took the week of work, and made sure we were going to enjoy the break.

Sure....my kids are like all kids: they love Disneyland and big parks and the great excitement places. But one thing I have come to learn about my kiddos is that they really enjoy just going places that are new. They like the little bits of adventure and the new sights. In fact, their only request for this summer is to rent and RV and just drive. Thought I would give some little taste of that for this break, and surprised them with a 3 day trip to Leavenworth.

We loaded up the car, and hit the highway. Luckily the directions are simple and it is a straight drive out the highway - because none of us had ever been there before and being lost in the mountains really wasn't part of the plan. As we headed out the highway, we climbed into the cascade mountains. At Stevens Pass, there is a skiing area; the ski runs head straight toward the highway, so everyone thought it was funny that the skiers looked as if they were headed right for us!

We started in cloudy, cool weather; drove through misty rain and snowbanks that towered of the car; and quietly slid into sunny spring. Leavenworth appears with no warning. We nearly missed our hotel: it was the first thing entering town, and with no warning of the town we had no warning of the hotel! We checked into the Icicle Inn, and decided to walk into town. Knowing that Leavenworth is a small town, I thought that downtown was only around the bend; turns out downtown was a about a mile up the road. Of course we discovered that after already walking there and having to walk back. We strolled through the German shops and listened to the traditional music that was piped through the streets. As we finally walked back to the hotel, my kids were so sweet and not only did they NOT complain about the walk, but they both commented how great it was that we were so close to town we wouldn't have to drive. How cute is that?

We hit the pool and dinner at the hotel. Watched movies that we brought with us on the in-room DVD player. Then made plans for the next day. Since Tuesday was going to be our only full day in town, we decided to try and do the most which included the pool (again), picking up souvenirs for friends, and miniature golf and the family center that was next door to the hotel. After much bed bouncing, song singing, game playing, and fighting over teeth brushing, we hit the hay nice and late just like a vacation should be.

As Tuesday started, I got up and was all gung-ho to get through our list of activities and just see what there was for us to do. As I was drying my hair, my daughter stumbled into the bathroom to let me know there was snow! Sure shootin.....there were big fluffy flakes falling from the sky. So much for miniature golf and walking to town? It was at this moment - looking out the window to the snow - that I noticed pigeons kept coming back to our window. I had seen them there the day before, but didn't really think anything of it. Just seemed funny that they picked our window over and over again. We went downstairs to the hotel restaurant for breakfast.....and found that they did make-your-own-waffles. YUM! Clearly, this was going to be a memorable part of the trip.....pouring the batter, waffle iron had a timer, and there was no way to go wrong.

We drove into town on Tuesday since the weather was too cold and wet for walking - but my son did suggest that we buy an umbrella at the hotel gift shop and walk because it would be good for us. Somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to pay $15 for an umbrella over spending $3 in gas to get into town. Especially when the car has a heater. We got souvenirs for friends at home, had treats from the Danish Bakery, and talked about how soon we could come back. As we drove back to the hotel, the precipitation had cleared and we were starting to see the sun. It was time for miniature golf and pool for sure!

When we got back to our room, we noticed that the housekeeping staff had propped the window open to let in some fresh air. Knowing now that the widow opened, I took the chance to peek out, and discovered why pigeons loved out window. They were building a nest on top of the vent box where it was covered and cozy. Not only was there a nest, but an egg too! I got a couple pictures, but momma-pigeon sure gave me the evil eye after that!

We wrapped up the unique fun of our trip with room service for dinner. One of my favorite childhood memories is from the overnight trips my mom and I would take to Salt Lake City once a year for school shopping - and we would get room service for breakfast.....it just seemed like the height of posh to me. So I wanted to share that with my kids, too. There is enough work and hard stuff in life already - take every chance to feel spoiled, right?

All in all....this trip had everything.

1. We went somewhere totally new. Charting our own undiscovered territory

2. It took a road trip. We had to plan and pack and got to actually see all the new stuff and not just fly over it.

3. It had excitement. I told my son that the stretch of highway we had to drive on for 10 miles outside of Monroe was the most deadly in the state...and he got sufficiently wide eyed.

4. It had movies. In room DVD players are a life saver at night.

5. It has sun. Beautiful afternoons and one whole day without the need for a coat.

6. It had snow. Living in an area that does not have constant snow in the winter makes snow a treat for the kiddos.

7. It had tasty treats. Junk food in the car, danish pastry, home made waffles, and room service!

8. It had this family. Any place is home as long as you have your family with you.....and my children are all the family I ever need.