Destruction is Cool

What is it, do you think, that fascinates us about the destruction of “things?”

It seems that we are all fascinated with the destruction, demolition, and undoing, of seemingly sturdy objects. This was most apparent to me this week as one of the office buildings in our campus was torn down. Every break we went on, we walked the half block down the hill to spend 15 minutes observing and soaking in the sounds, sights, and feelings, of demolition. The crunch, glitter, and shimmy, of the falling concrete and glass. In between our breaks, we would check in on the deconstruction via a webcam set upon the neighboring building or through the windows of some of the conference rooms. When a large piece of what used to be a wall would tumble and break one of the remaining panes of glass, we would cheer! We are a diverse bunch of friends, yet we were each fascinated by this work of taking apart millions of dollars of building.

This got me to thinking about the act of “deconstruction”. As human beings, we are drawn to the act of creation: buildings, clothing, art, babies. Also as humans, we are equally drawn to the act of destruction. Before we can build a building, we must tear down trees. Before we can make clothing, we must take apart substances like cotton and wool. Before we can make art, we must definitely destroy with paint or dye. Before we can make babies, we must demolish the youthful body and toned tummy we worked all through our 20s to obtain.

There are 2 real reasons for this fascination.

First: there is such a great release of tension and loss of stress when something gets obliterated. Really….who hasn’t felt good when tearing apart something that just isn’t right for some reason? I think there is nothing better when I am really frustrated and angry than to break something glass. There are loads of people who rip paper for this very same reason. Even when the “thing” being taken apart is a relationship and there are hurt feelings….doesn’t it also feel good to take apart what is wrong? It’s the most amazing therapy!

Second: our undeniable need to build and make better. These are not mutually exclusive desires: demolishing and creating. There must be one in order for there to be the other. It’s a necessary cycle. The joy found in watching, I think, was subconsciously about the promise of something NEW. It’s thrill of change. It’s the excitement of the unknown.

We need to have that change in order to grow. Sometimes that change comes with pain and sorrow (such as with war) but is a necessary part of evolution. Our societies, and we as individuals, crave change even when it is uncomfortable and painful. The end always seems to justify the means for us. So as we stand around and gape at these piles of concrete and glass and PVC pipe, we are thrilled with the crashing and crunching because deep down we know that this will lead to something new and different. Even though it is just a building that we will most likely never go into…..its change around us.

Then again…..maybe it’s just that the sound of breaking glass is so cool!

Kindness Doesn't Take Much

This has been discussed so many times….but I wanted to throw in my little bit. Logically, we all know that being truly kind does not require large effort or a big fan-fare. We all know that kindness comes in little bits. But I had a perfect kindness experience that I wanted to share.

When I leave for work in the morning, I have to turn left onto a busy street with a reasonable amount of traffic without the aid of a stop sign or street light. If I leave at the right time of the morning, I can miss the onslaught of traffic without any problem……but this is a very rare occurrence. Most often I wait for several minutes and take a few chances to cross the road. Earlier this past week, I got to the end of my driveway and saw the lines of traffic both ways. After about a minute of waiting, there was a break in the traffic from my left….even though there was no end to the traffic from my right. But the driver of one car from my right stopped calmly, and waited for me to cross. There were easily 20 cars backed up behind him….but he did it anyway. I crossed quickly and off we all went.

This was a very simple little act that took up all of 30 seconds in our lives. All of those cars were going to have to wait for the nearby traffic light anyhow….so it didn’t slow them up any. This small moment made my whole day! No one asked this driver to stop; I did not honk or yell for a space. I drove the rest of my 15 minute commute with a smile. In fact….I was so calm and happy that when a car cut me off short a little while later, I just slowed carefully and did my best to make it easy for the driver to get in the lane…..no honking or yelling or even feeling upset.

We often don’t consider how our actions, regardless of how small, will affect another person. We also don’t often think of what else has happened to someone to put them in a foul mood. Good moods and bad moods spread like wildfire…..with very little fuel. That same driver that let me into traffic passed along a good mood that lasted all day for me and made me more pleasant to deal with. Just as easily, I could have moved into traffic when there was a bit of a natural space, been honked at, and spent the rest of the day snippy at others.

This same day, a friend of mine was at a college to register for a class. The woman at the admissions office was unhappy, and a bit rude. Her bad mood led to this friend coming home feeling unhelped with the class registration, and frustrated with the process; and thus less able to focus on the things needing to be done at home. Again....the mood is perpetuated. This woman did not realize how her mood and actions would affect the life of another person, and this friend of mine did not stop to think about what could have put the woman out of sorts. They chalked the encounter up to being an unhappy person at work and a rude guy that came into the office. A opportunity to change a life was missed.

Being a truly kind person does not take much. It takes a short consideration of the other persons position. What may have happened to this person that he/she is unhappy or frustrated? How can I avoid contribution? What would I like for someone to do for me if I were in the other position? And then do those things…… No asking or questions; just do something.

I Don't Do Resolutions

It is a new, glorious, year.....and 'tis the season for resolutions! Every year folks make resolutions to lose weight, go out more, save more, and so on. However, I am firmly against this practice.

This is my first year as an adult where I am starting off single. This year is new in so many ways ..... just like every day is new in so many ways. I have never been one for resolutions, but I do feel compelled to "formalize" the things I want to do with th is new life I have. So I am going with the GOALS route......

I have, really, just one goal for 2009: make one scarf or hat every month for the whole year. Here is the deal: I love yarn! A year ago I started crocheting and loom-knitting, and have loved every minute of it. Because of this great love, I have also developed a love of fiber. I am not a “fiber snob” who only uses 100% animal fiber (wool, alpaca, silk, etc) or strictly plant fiber (cotton, bamboo)… I focus on colors and the feel. So even if a yarn is acrylic I will love it and use it if it feels right. As you can probably guess…..this has led to a tremendous collection of yarn. These projects can be done with one skein quite often, and usually take only a few hours. And by the end of the year I will have several items ready for gifts and donations.

Contributing donations has been a gap in my life for quite a long time. There is something so much more meaningful, I think, in being able to do donations of items made rather than just the giving of money. Most definitely……money is a great donation and for any organization those donations are a necessity. But when it comes to what I can do to make any difference on an individual level, handmade items and specific donations are my forte. The idea that something that has gone through my hands and from my home has done good for someone else is such a thrilling idea!

So….why not call it a resolution to use up my yarn stash by making and donating scarves? I think that there is such a stigma associated with the word RESOLUTION. Everyone talks about resolutions that they made…..they didn’t last….”I really started off on my resolution well, but just didn’t follow through.” There is something about the word “resolution” that feels like it’s an impossible thing to accomplish. With having a GOAL….there is no way I can completely fail unless I never pick up the yarn and never even try. I will accomplish at least some of the GOAL no matter what I do.

This year is about positive changes…..and my GOALs will be my key to success.