Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Pettiness of Parents


This is the first year that my son’s soccer team is keeping track of their scores for league placement. So far, there is only one flaw in their perfect record.

A few weeks ago, our team (the Wolves) had an away game against a team (the Fusion) from Edmonds. We got to the field the required 30 minutes early for warm up…..but there was no other team and the field was locked. After the assistant coach made some phone calls, the field was grudgingly opened by the schools head janitor and we went in to start warm up. However, no opposing team. After the boys had played and goofed around for another 20 minutes, a team finally showed up. As it turns out, this other team was scheduled for a different time than us and they were playing against a Marysville team and not a Monroe team. The assistant coach finally got a hold of the league registrar, and let her know that we did not have an opposing team and that we were being booted from the field. The boys were very disheartened.

Two days later at practice, we discovered that the registrar had told our team the wrong time! The team from Edmonds that we were scheduled to play arrived at the proper time, but we were not there to play them. The game would have to be rescheduled.

Yesterday the Wolves played the Fusion in a regular game. This time we were the home team and they were the visiting team; the make-up game still not having been arranged. The game was fantastic, and the Wolves won 9:0. The coach for the Fusion turned out to be quite a tough guy with those boys; he was yelling a lot, and constantly asked them “what are you doing?” And the boys were genuinely frustrated.

As some of the parents got talking after the game, we realized that the chances of getting the previous game rescheduled were slim to none. If the game is not played, then it shows up on the record as our forfeit to them since they were the ones to show up at the proper time and we were the visiting team. And after a harsh game like yesterday, and an obvious winning record, would the other team really risk another loss when a “win” by forfeit was being handed to them?

Which brings me to point out that parents (in this case possibly the coach) sometimes care more about the win that the kids, care more about the outcome than the game, care more about the result than the journey. While we won the game…..all of the parents and coaching staff talked about how the team really did well with passing (an ongoing struggle) and how well the boys worked their positions and played like a TEAM.

Now I worry about the conversations that happened on the drives home for those boys on the Fusion team. Did their parents support them and remind them that they did a great job and gave the other team a run for their money? Or will the boys go to practice this week and hear that they let the win slip through their fingers, and just didn’t work?

The point is to play the game.

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