Today was the day it took 2 years to make.
Ok…..two years is exaggerating a bit; it has been 22 months and 29 days. This was the finish line to a journey started on December 25, 2006…..the day my divorce was final. Surprisingly, it has been anti-climactic. Don’t get me wrong…..I am happy and tremendously relieved, but there was no great chorus or dramatic moments.
I spent most of yesterday and all of this morning fighting tears of fear. My EX made it very clear that he was going to be at court this morning even though he was not required, he had to take time off work, and he had already signed the papers. I think he felt the need to come and make sure I did not sneak in some sort of change to the agreement. He is the type of person that would have said “yes, Your Honor, I signed the papers even though I don’t REALLY think it’s all fair.” And then we would have had a problem. So….my tears and I got up in front of the judge, gave a 30 second sworn testimony, and then waited for Mr. Wonderful to drop a bomb. But he didn’t. He nodded and agreed and let it all go through. Wow.
Now I can officially start a new life. Luckily I have started living a little for myself since I moved out 18 months ago. Now I can be public about it. It all feels like when you have been driving for a while with a learners permit, and then you get your license. You don’t really do anything different…..but you’re OFFICIAL.
I realized that I was really back to “me” and myself a couple of weeks ago when I had to get a new debit card. When I got my first debit card at the age of 18, I chose a specific PIN that only I would know. The last 4 digits of my first driver’s license. When I went into get this new debit card PIN assigned a week ago…..I instinctively selected the same 4 digits. Like I was a kid all over again. It struck me as very funny.
Not really sure what I should do now, though. I have my kids with me….this weekend is filled with soccer games and birthday parties – so there is no big party. I think I should just savor the little bit of relief. Spend a little time remembering what it is like to be in this skin. To mark October 24th as a personal holiday EVERY YEAR to come.
Ok…..two years is exaggerating a bit; it has been 22 months and 29 days. This was the finish line to a journey started on December 25, 2006…..the day my divorce was final. Surprisingly, it has been anti-climactic. Don’t get me wrong…..I am happy and tremendously relieved, but there was no great chorus or dramatic moments.
I spent most of yesterday and all of this morning fighting tears of fear. My EX made it very clear that he was going to be at court this morning even though he was not required, he had to take time off work, and he had already signed the papers. I think he felt the need to come and make sure I did not sneak in some sort of change to the agreement. He is the type of person that would have said “yes, Your Honor, I signed the papers even though I don’t REALLY think it’s all fair.” And then we would have had a problem. So….my tears and I got up in front of the judge, gave a 30 second sworn testimony, and then waited for Mr. Wonderful to drop a bomb. But he didn’t. He nodded and agreed and let it all go through. Wow.
Now I can officially start a new life. Luckily I have started living a little for myself since I moved out 18 months ago. Now I can be public about it. It all feels like when you have been driving for a while with a learners permit, and then you get your license. You don’t really do anything different…..but you’re OFFICIAL.
I realized that I was really back to “me” and myself a couple of weeks ago when I had to get a new debit card. When I got my first debit card at the age of 18, I chose a specific PIN that only I would know. The last 4 digits of my first driver’s license. When I went into get this new debit card PIN assigned a week ago…..I instinctively selected the same 4 digits. Like I was a kid all over again. It struck me as very funny.
Not really sure what I should do now, though. I have my kids with me….this weekend is filled with soccer games and birthday parties – so there is no big party. I think I should just savor the little bit of relief. Spend a little time remembering what it is like to be in this skin. To mark October 24th as a personal holiday EVERY YEAR to come.
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