Forgetting Sarah Marshall...I mean....Palin

Today as I was getting coffee in the kitchen at work, I heard an advertisement for a "deal" on the new Sarah Palin book, "Going Rogue." All I could think to myself was: "Really"?

The ad touted this book at the "most sought after book this year....and it isn't even released yet." I realize that I may try to keep a low profile and that I am not the most active of political bodies, but I am sure that if Sarah Palin had done something so remarkable as to warrant a high demand, I would have remembered.

Sarah Palin was a great face for the Republican party. All of the pundits and reporters stated that she breathed new life into the party. However, I can only see that she brought a spark and "new life" by being an attractive woman who was not afraid to be loud. What great policies did she forge? What oppression did she lift? What new paths did she carve? What has she divined? Indeed, what unscripted question did she ever answer?

I am disappointed that an intelligent community such as ours is so ready to prop up someone....who really has done nothing. So many people willing to follow her and let her guide the future of the nation because she was willing to be a fool. I do not know if she is a good governor, or leader, or mother. What I do know is that she has become famous simply by being in the right place at the right time, but not for doing the right thing. When our children or our grandchildren study the history of this nation, will Sarah Palin really be in the books? It is hard to imagine that the Republican Party version of Paris Hilton will be.......

Nuurdygirl Ventures to New York

When I first started to write this entry, I had the idea of giving all the details of the trip. My father is a great writer......and when he travels he often posts what we call "epistles": daily details of the trip. This is what I thought to do at first....but realized that I did not have the patience to write that much nitty-gritty. Also, I am fairly certain that you as a reader do not REALLY care about the nittgh-gritty. However, I have opted for the MOST EXCELLENT highlights from my trip to New York with my parents.

This was my first real trip to New York. I have been to New Jersey loads of times for work, seen Manhattan from the glory of Newark, and been into the city twice for work functions....but never been to enjoy it or spend some time. Additionally (thanks to my wonderful father) this was my first trip FIRST CLASS. My dad cannot sit on an airplane for a long flight like the one to New York in coach, so when he booked the tickets, they were all first class! I most certainly did not fit in while wearing grubby yoga pants, sweatshirt, and fuzzy boots.....but it was sooooo nice!

I flew out from Seattle and met my parents in Minneapolis, and we flew all together to Newark. There were plans to spend the total 6 hours on a plane crocheting.....but they were well thwarted. Of course on the second leg I spent the time gabbing with my mother.....but what was irritating was the first leg. I simply got caught up watching the in-flight movie. That doesn't sound so bad....except that the movie was My Sisters Keeper. If any airline executive reads this: DO NOT SHOW SAD MOVIES ON A FLIGHT! Seriously....stick with comedy - NO ONE wants to cry with strangers while trapped in a hurtling piece of tin! But it was a good movie.....

We spent 4 full days in the city - taking the train in from Jersey City each day. Three of those days were in mid-town near Time Square, and one day was down toward the East Village and NYU. I am not sure if I really expected the city to be different than what I got.....but what I found was that I adored this city. There is a great energy.....maybe because there is no STOP to the people. People are working and moving all the time.

We saw 4 shows while we were there: Chicago, Rock of Ages, Blue Man Group, and Mamma Mia. The Mamma Mia tickets for Wednesday night were a last minute surprise from my dad - he couldn't wait for tickets either. All of our seats were amazing! Blue Man Group was the only show we did not sit in the balcony - and all our balcony seats were right in the middle and only 1 or 2 rows back. STELLAR! My favorite show had to be Rock of Ages. Not because it was so much better....but because I was surprised with the story, talent, and I have not laughed that hard in so long. I had never heard of the show, and my parents thought it was about the history of rock and roll.......and it turns out to be you typical boy-meets-girl-boy-loses-girl story. It just so happens to be set on the Sunset Strip in the early '80's and using rock music like Styx, Journey, Pat Benetar, etc. Completely hilarious.

The places we ate were terrific too. We went to places without much planning or reference.....and loved all of them. We ate at Ellens Stardust Diner, Burbon Street, Beccos, The Chinatown Brasserie, and The Shake Shack. I came back with an extra 5 pounds as a souvenier! And I just have to say......get the 'Shroom Burger at the Shack. YUM! And at Becco's, get the 3 pasta special side dish with whatever you order......it's pasta Heaven!

Speaking of The Shake Shack, on our way over to get lunch there I had my first brush with fame on the trip. We crossed the street with Christine Baranski. The next night, and the China Brasserie, we had dinner at a table next to John Goodman. I was totally fine until I heard John Goodman speak....and then I got all giggly. Because he is just so funny and delightful.

This was one of the best trips I have had in a long time! Just my folks and I spending the time.....no big rush and no real plans. Just hanging out and being goofy all together. My parents are so much fun!

The best thing I brought back from this trip....next to awesome memories....was the decision to go back to school. After the Blue Man Group show, I stopped into the Starbucks at Astor Place in the east village to get coffee. The idea of going back to school had been rattling in my head (lightly) for a while......and standing there in a crowd of NYU students I was struck by a thunderbolt. Now is the time.....do it now.....go back to school. So I am!

Wonder what will be the epiphany on the next trip we take?

My Goodness What a Week!

This past week has been so completely incredible! Not because there was anything extraordinary (per se), or there was some remarkable event (although winning the lottery would have been a nice addition). But for the past week it has been like floating on air.....NOTHING could have brought me down or spoiled my mood.

As you may recall, the week before this one was the Week of Suspension in which my son had to deal with the consequences of joking about breaking the law, and was trapped working at home for a week. Monday morning brought his return to school.....started off with a meeting in the principals office. He did not want me there (only his dad) and so I had to hear about the results. He had written a letter to the Principal apologizing for what he had done, and explaining why his joking was inappropriate. It was sweet and beautiful, and 2 pages of more thought than ever expected. He was so relieved to get back to school! And I was so proud to have him really think through what had happened and be able to learn from the experience.

The biggest joy this week is the countdown to my Geekboy moving! In barely over 2 weeks, we will be on the road driving from the East Coast to the West Coast to finally get some living done! This has been a very long time in coming.....and a most welcome relief. Everyday he and I check the counter that ticks away the days and the hours....loving how the numbers keep getting smaller.

This is an event that has been more than a year in the making, and has held up so many other events in life. So many other pursuits. And to be on the verge of action is so exciting! It's more than exciting.....its thrilling and frightening and wonderful!

Because of this amazing thrill, nothing could have brought me down. Not my kids throwing tantrums, not work being crazy busy and sometimes out of control, not my ex stirring up drama, not being completely broke and struggling for pennies. Nothing. It all just rolled off....because it is all fleeting and insignificant in the realization that true happiness and peace in my heart are arriving.

This, however, has brought me to feel a little sad. Not for myself or my children....but for some others in my life that I see hanging on to what brings them their own sadness. There are people in my life who are so set in thinking of happiness in a certain way, that when other chances for happiness or changes for happiness present themselves, these people refuse to see it or try it. Joy and peace are part of a journey, and not a destination of themselves. You have to take chances and go through hurt to keep finding the wonderful spots along the road.

I have often remembered a quote this week. Forgive me if I get it a bit wrong, but the meaning is the same.

"Hell is doing the same things over and over, but expecting a different result."

At this point for me, the chances I have taken have given new results. The part of the journey I am on is beautiful! And I hope that it continues a while longer, and that others find their own way onto this road.

For myself....I am going to keep along this path and take it slow. I am going to savour every delicious moment with smiles, and butterfilies in my stomach, and a spring in my step. I am going to watch the calendar and the counter to the time my Geekboy is finally near me and not just on the phone with a constant giggle of delight. I am going to remember that all the other little moments of drama and tantrum are nothing more than minor bumps in the road. And I will try to keep my kiddos entertained on this journey and show others how great it is to take the chances for happiness.

The Week of Suspension

I would like to open by saying that I try very hard to recognize that my children are not perfect. The idea that "they can do no wrong" is silly.....they are kids and will make mistakes and bad choices. If we adults do it, so can kids.

My brain and my heart have been very prepared to get called to the principals office for my daughter. She is feisty and will really fight when she needs (or feels the need) to. However what knocked me off my feet this week was getting called by the school pricipal regarding my son.....and having my son SUSPENDED for 4 days.

Bug (my son) and a few of his friends had been discussing some changes they wanted with the computer lab, and it escalated into a joke that involved breaking into the school. Now.....these boys are 11, and I know they are not going to really go through with it. However, I do agree that they cannot joke around about something that is illegal and/or will cause harm to another person or place. Better to have a slightly excessive punishment now in the 5th grade, than to go too light and have him think he can get away with something in High School that will show up on his record and keep him out of a college. And so he has been parked at home for the last week......and his room has never looked cleaner!!!

There are all kinds of discussions that can go on about how to handle such a situation, and what punishments are fair or excessive. However, I think what is interesting is how this affects you as a parent. The feelings of concern and disappointment are so heavy......and the desire to give in and just hug them and say "hey....let's not do this again" and then go get ice cream are overwhelming.

When we went through setting up his home punishment on top of the school punishment, it was so very hard. I think I cried more than Bug did....but it was pretty close. He felt so terrible about what had happened (and I am sure about getting caught) that it just broke my heart. Because of this he had to drop out of the school talent show which he had worked very hard for and had to audition for.....it was the highlight of the year for him I think. My heart was broken...it took everything I had to not wrap my arms around him and just say "it's ok". Had to keep reminding myself it really isn't ok.....but it will be.

Let's be honest....we all did KID things when we were young. We were stupid and made foolish choices....just like our kids do now. But I realize now that there is no way I could understand then the impact this had on my own parents. The worry, fear, and sadness must have been extraordinary!

Bug is a good kid. He is a GREAT kid. And all of this trouble has not changed my view on that in the slightest. I know he is just as great as before because he really knows what he did. He is remorseful. And if he wasn't a good kid, he would simply be angry with the situation. He has worked around the house, cleaned his rooms at both his fathers house as well as mine, done all of his homework, written an apology letter to the principal, and given up all his privledges (games, movies, etc) without a whine or complaint. When his sister, Bean, offered to let him play on the computer after her....he even told her "I can't until at least tomorrow."

Today is Sunday, and he will be going back to school tomorrow. He and his father will be meeting with the principal in the morning (Bug says he didn't want me there - just his dad) and Bug has an apology letter to read and give him. He has done so very well, that I want to let him have all of his privleges back. He has pacified himself by helping to coach his sister through all of the computer games and such when not in the midst of cleaning his room. I want to say "I love you....have at at" but I can't. I will be tough.....and just try to not seem mean.

But with any luck....this was just a one time thing for him. I am still sure this was just practice for me.....for when Bean gets into that row and throws her great right hook.

p.s. Sorry to my folks. Everytime something like this happens with my children....I am compelled for doing it to my parents. So....sorry. Again. :-)

The Importance of a Map

Have you ever tried to go somewhere without a map? Typically, we head toward new places with no less than directions....but a map can often be so much more clear; you can gauge distance and surroundings, and be far more successful in your journey.

What about going somewhere a bit more familiar? Maybe you have been there once or twice, but it has been a while. A map is far superior to memory, and a lifesaver when you come across changes such as traffic revisions, new landmarks, etc.

I am finding out that life, and in particular love, is more like a journey or road trip than I had ever realized. Love is shaping up to be the cross country car ride with your embarrassing grandparents to visit the largest ball of string and the oldest walnut tree, where you get car sick and your little brother just won't stop looking at you!


Once we have reached adulthood, usually we have been on a couple of these excursions. We have had crushes, been in love, been loved, and found heartbreak. In lucky cases, that journey turns out to be the romantic getaway to Paris with that special someone; where you enjoy the time even when the luggage gets lost and no one speaks English in the restaurant.

But when we are adults it is more and more important to have those maps. We no longer have our youth and vibrancy and stupidity to allow us to just blindly try over and over again. We have commitments and goals, and desires never thought of in our youth - and to not reach them all is devastating.

And love is that journey to somewhere familiar.....but not visited in a long time. No matter how many times you try, you know what you want, you recognize some of the signs around you, but you are never really sure of where to turn.

I have been dating someone recently in my life... and everyday I wish I had picked up a map back at the gas station. We seem to have the same idea of our destination, and when we talk the directions through they sound the same... yet I often find myself looking around at the stops and find myself alone. We get in touch, talk again, and start off on the road... only to find that somewhere we took different exits on the turnpike.

These latest stops are closer than ever to the "destination"....but it is still only me arriving there. This leaves me with two choices: wait for him and hope that he finds me while I sit scared and alone, or go on to where I want to be without him. It is like we both WANT to go to Disneyland and ride Space Mountain, but he parked in the Eeyore lot, and I have already taken the shuttle from the Timon lot and am almost to the entrance.

GET THE MAP AT THE GAS STATION!

SIT DOWN OVER COFFEE AND USE A YELLOW HIGHLIGHTER TO MARK THE PATH!

Don't just talk about the directions and where you want to go, outline the landmarks along the way.

Know that when you get to exit 72, you have gone too far.

Nothing Says Spring Like Icicles

Yay! Spring break has finally come. Not only does this signify that actual spring might be coming, but it is also the first vacation time of the year that I have with my kids. In the past, we usually stayed around home and didn't do much of anything. This year I took the week of work, and made sure we were going to enjoy the break.

Sure....my kids are like all kids: they love Disneyland and big parks and the great excitement places. But one thing I have come to learn about my kiddos is that they really enjoy just going places that are new. They like the little bits of adventure and the new sights. In fact, their only request for this summer is to rent and RV and just drive. Thought I would give some little taste of that for this break, and surprised them with a 3 day trip to Leavenworth.

We loaded up the car, and hit the highway. Luckily the directions are simple and it is a straight drive out the highway - because none of us had ever been there before and being lost in the mountains really wasn't part of the plan. As we headed out the highway, we climbed into the cascade mountains. At Stevens Pass, there is a skiing area; the ski runs head straight toward the highway, so everyone thought it was funny that the skiers looked as if they were headed right for us!

We started in cloudy, cool weather; drove through misty rain and snowbanks that towered of the car; and quietly slid into sunny spring. Leavenworth appears with no warning. We nearly missed our hotel: it was the first thing entering town, and with no warning of the town we had no warning of the hotel! We checked into the Icicle Inn, and decided to walk into town. Knowing that Leavenworth is a small town, I thought that downtown was only around the bend; turns out downtown was a about a mile up the road. Of course we discovered that after already walking there and having to walk back. We strolled through the German shops and listened to the traditional music that was piped through the streets. As we finally walked back to the hotel, my kids were so sweet and not only did they NOT complain about the walk, but they both commented how great it was that we were so close to town we wouldn't have to drive. How cute is that?

We hit the pool and dinner at the hotel. Watched movies that we brought with us on the in-room DVD player. Then made plans for the next day. Since Tuesday was going to be our only full day in town, we decided to try and do the most which included the pool (again), picking up souvenirs for friends, and miniature golf and the family center that was next door to the hotel. After much bed bouncing, song singing, game playing, and fighting over teeth brushing, we hit the hay nice and late just like a vacation should be.

As Tuesday started, I got up and was all gung-ho to get through our list of activities and just see what there was for us to do. As I was drying my hair, my daughter stumbled into the bathroom to let me know there was snow! Sure shootin.....there were big fluffy flakes falling from the sky. So much for miniature golf and walking to town? It was at this moment - looking out the window to the snow - that I noticed pigeons kept coming back to our window. I had seen them there the day before, but didn't really think anything of it. Just seemed funny that they picked our window over and over again. We went downstairs to the hotel restaurant for breakfast.....and found that they did make-your-own-waffles. YUM! Clearly, this was going to be a memorable part of the trip.....pouring the batter, waffle iron had a timer, and there was no way to go wrong.

We drove into town on Tuesday since the weather was too cold and wet for walking - but my son did suggest that we buy an umbrella at the hotel gift shop and walk because it would be good for us. Somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to pay $15 for an umbrella over spending $3 in gas to get into town. Especially when the car has a heater. We got souvenirs for friends at home, had treats from the Danish Bakery, and talked about how soon we could come back. As we drove back to the hotel, the precipitation had cleared and we were starting to see the sun. It was time for miniature golf and pool for sure!

When we got back to our room, we noticed that the housekeeping staff had propped the window open to let in some fresh air. Knowing now that the widow opened, I took the chance to peek out, and discovered why pigeons loved out window. They were building a nest on top of the vent box where it was covered and cozy. Not only was there a nest, but an egg too! I got a couple pictures, but momma-pigeon sure gave me the evil eye after that!

We wrapped up the unique fun of our trip with room service for dinner. One of my favorite childhood memories is from the overnight trips my mom and I would take to Salt Lake City once a year for school shopping - and we would get room service for breakfast.....it just seemed like the height of posh to me. So I wanted to share that with my kids, too. There is enough work and hard stuff in life already - take every chance to feel spoiled, right?

All in all....this trip had everything.

1. We went somewhere totally new. Charting our own undiscovered territory

2. It took a road trip. We had to plan and pack and got to actually see all the new stuff and not just fly over it.

3. It had excitement. I told my son that the stretch of highway we had to drive on for 10 miles outside of Monroe was the most deadly in the state...and he got sufficiently wide eyed.

4. It had movies. In room DVD players are a life saver at night.

5. It has sun. Beautiful afternoons and one whole day without the need for a coat.

6. It had snow. Living in an area that does not have constant snow in the winter makes snow a treat for the kiddos.

7. It had tasty treats. Junk food in the car, danish pastry, home made waffles, and room service!

8. It had this family. Any place is home as long as you have your family with you.....and my children are all the family I ever need.

My So Called Life

Well.....it has only been a month, but I think I have found the conclusions I was looking for.

No....you cannot have any life without consequences.

For a month, I have been in my own little social experiment. And at the end of this month, I have come to the conclusion that even with having the ability to fly, and the inability to get hurt or die, there are still consequences that cannot be avoided.

Let's talk practical cause and effect first. In this Second Life, you have the option of finding a home. It truly is optional, but of course a very nice thing to have for some privacy and an escape when needed. Homes (houses, apartments, etc) cost money.....which means that either a real-life person needs to put up a few bucks, or a second lifer needs to get a job. You have to pay rent and keep up that obligation - or you get evicted. And if you are evicted, you run the risk of not being able to rent or buy any other place later on. Having a job brings on a new level of responsibility - in that you have to work your designated shifts, and fulfil deliverables, and live up to the expectations of your employer. Sound familiar? Not keeping up any of these pieces will mean the loss of your job.....and we all understand what that leads to.

The real questions, though, are about the intangible things. The relationships and feelings that we are trying to avoid in places like Second Life. I have seen people date, get married, have kids, get divorced, and just "play the field" in Second Life. What I have observed is that people form the same sorts of relationships that we look for in real life, but no matter how hard we try to be feeling-less, there is still a real person behind the avatar. There may not be the physical feelings and reactions, but there is still a mind and heart behind all of this.....so there is still joy, pain, love, and heartache, to be felt.

This kind of life leads to a new way to experience everything we as humans have in the real life. For those that are short sighted and a little silly.....this is just a way to fool around in a cyber arena. But by far and away the people I know are the smart ones....and use this game as a tool to make their real lives better: chat with real life loved ones far away, bring a new dimension to a real life love, or find those friendships they feel safe in - where they haven't found it in the external world.

No. There is no life without consequences. No matter what steps are taken, there is still a real person with real feelings and real thoughts behind every non-real word and action. There is still a community to care for in a digital world....work to be done, bills to pay, and people to take care of. There are even pets to raise!

Even without being able to escape the "hardships" of life in this game.....I am very glad I have joined it. I have been afforded the opportunity to meet people I would never EVER meet otherwise, and I have had the chance to try things that could never happen anywhere else. I have seen digital renditions of classic artwork. I have been to live streaming-audio concerts of new musicians from around the world. There may be no lack of consequences.....but I have found that the consequences I come across are certainly worth it for what I have gained.

Getting a Life

So.....I am wrapping up week 3 of my "social experiment" with an inconsequential life. Playing this little game has provided me some realizations I had not expected.

This little Second Life is more like real life than I had anticipated. Perhaps in a less extreme sense, but still very much the same. You can float through life without too much effort, and have a reasonably good time; however, the more you put into the game the more you get out of it. You can get a job, earn money (not real life currency), and even rent or build a home. The more time and energy you put into the game - the better "things" you have to enrich your life and the more people you meet to spend this "life" with.

The people that I have met have surprised me as well. I have not met a large number of people, but they have all been extremely helpful. Everyone that I have met realizes that the more people that have a good experience in the game, the more will stay, and the community is made better overall. The more people in the game.....the more money is exchanged.....the more perspectives on life......the more opportunities that can be shared. No one has given me a hard time for the silly questions I have asked or the faux pas that I have thrown out. And I have been encouraged to try so many things and take great risks.....all with support of virtual friends.

Speaking of the people.....I think the relationships aspect has fascinated me most of all. Most people (if they have heard of Second Life at all) have heard of the instances where Second Life players have had "cyber affairs" and had real life marriages ruined.....and to be sure this occurs and there are plenty of ways to find cyber sex. However, what I have found is that within the game....people form the same kinds of relationships that are found in real life - but often more deliberately. For example, people form romantic relationships and have marriages in the game, people form families with different individuals taking the roles of parents etc, and there is even ways to simulate pregnancy or pursue an adoption of a child. People are reaching out in this new technological way to form the bonds we crave as human beings. Additionally, many of the people that I have encountered play the game with their real life partners in the mix. It has been fascinating to see that this game has become an extension of these peoples real lives.....another way of communicating across the miles.

For myself, I have taken steps to become a more contributory member of society. I have gained employment, and am even renting the cutest apartment (furnished and complete with a hot tub). I am finding that the time and effort to keep a job is much like in my real life - just on a slightly smaller scale. My next move is to schedule time to take classes and further my education via Second Life. Maybe I will last a little longer in a virtual university than I did in a real one.

Beginning My New "Life"

Well.....in my last blog entry, I told you about joining Second Life as my own social experiment in a 'life without consequences.' It has now been a whole week (actually, 10 days) since starting this off…..and already it has been quite an experience.

First, a little word about what it takes to get started in this game. When you sign up, you download a client viewer software that allows you to get in and manipulate the environment. Once you have gotten in and created your account (only requiring basic contact information), you select the basic features of an avatar. This is going to be your physical representation (‘character’) in the game……so this is the opportunity to pick some of your basic features: male or female, hair style, body shape, etc. This is honestly only very basic information because as you go through the game, you can change all of these things – even skin and eye color. You also must select a name – and a great plan for safety and control, you only make up your first name; your last name must be selected from a drop down list.

Once you have put your initial self together, you have to decide where you are going to start out this game. In Second Life there are hundreds of “worlds” called sims (simulations). There are some areas that are really designed to make starting out easier. The area I started off in was geared just for getting new players (called Residents) started out; so there were a lot of tutorials I had to go through and quite a few people who are there with the strict intention of helping a new Resident figure out the nuances. And I am really glad that I did….because it was a quiet and there were very few people – which made it easier to practice all the skills required to get around and search all of the information out there.

Now I am pretty good with walking and moving around. I have figured out camera controls, how to search, how to view profiles, and much of the other logistical workings. I think that I will be able to embark on the meatier stuff – like meeting other people and having experiences.

While not the most interesting of updates, I do have a few things to say about my impressions thus far. This “place” is a creation of genius. It is well thought out and very complete in its presentation. This world is created and really grown by the people who play in it. Businesses, artwork, events, and even families are created by the Residents for the Residents……and it’s brilliant. You can find everything from corporations to dance clubs. There are people from students to vampire rabbits. Brilliant!

Well……I am now off to find a job so that I can get an apartment in this place since the free space I am “borrowing” right now is kicking me out soon. Already…..I am getting evicted! Crazy. Hopefully my next update will include a new address.

A Life Without Consequence

In the past, I have been accused of "seeking a life without consequences." Who doesn't, right? Who has not wished that at some point they didn't have to play by the rules? However, my intent in making changes to my life has never been for this reason. Dodging rules and feelings has never been my aim.

This accusation did get me thinking: Is it possible to avoid consequences?

In considering this, I have determined that there is no way to truly avoid "consequences" in the real world. Whether or not you believe in Karma, it cannot be disputed that all actions have an effect; Newton's Third Law of Motion is "to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." Even if you don't believe that statement on a spiritual/emotional/mental level, it is true on a physical level. What goes up, must come down. Because we live in a physical world, Newton's law holds true. There is absolutely no way to avoid consequence.

Beyond the physical aspect, there is the "human" part of it. We cannot speak or even blink without it affecting another person. As humans, we are vulnerable to how others look at us, what others say to us, and the general physical interaction between persons. Thus, again, there is no way to avoid the cause and effect (consequences). For example:

If I break off a relationship, the other person is going to be hurt and life's road changes for us both. What that other person does or says in reaction is a consequence I must face in some way. As are the new changes and challenges in my life because of not being in that relationship anymore. Perhaps I have more financial burden, or become a single parent. Perhaps this other person becomes violent. All of these are consequences I must deal with in different ways - even taking no action or taking action that leads to avoiding the person directly is still a way of dealing.

OK.....people are affected by the physical world and laws of physics as well as emotionally by other people. The real world allows no escape from consequences and dealing with them - because even not facing them is a way of dealing. What about a "non-physical" world?

What if there was a world in which the physical laws did not apply? What about being able to NOT have the impact from another person? Would this be possible?

The more I thought about this, the more curious I became. And so I decided to embark on a little experiment.

There are quite a few digital worlds, alternate realities, whatever you want to call them, via the Internet that would provide a test bed. I did not want to attempt a gaming environment for a couple of reasons: I am terrible at gaming, and those games simulate violence, injury, and death (definite consequences). So I opted to try out the more well known of the alternate environments - Second Life.

Over the next few weeks, I would like to post a series on my education in my Second Life. What is it like to "live" in another reality so to speak? What is it like to "live" another life?

Second Life has gotten some press due to a couple of events that may be considered consequences. There was a protest by some employees at a digital instance of a real company - the real company had build a business in Second Life and had employees there as well as in the real world.....and when stocks turned down in the real world and the company looked at making changes, the Second Life employees went on strike. Another couple of instances involved people finding spouses with avatars having sex with other avatars......avatarian infidelity and divorces ensued. But I wanted to explore what it would be like to live with so few rules.

Well.......I have been in Second Life for a week. I spend maybe an hour a night there trying to figure it all out. Most of my time is spent in setting up other things to make my time easier: putting together outfits so I can change more quickly, sorting out furniture in my free apartment so that I have a "home" and don't have to always be out in public as I change the clothing on my anatomically correct avatar, and figuring out controls so I can walk and communicate on a basic level.

Wish me luck. We'll post from the other side.

Brief Goal Update

Ok.....as stated a few weeks ago, I stated that since I refuse to do have a RESOLUTION for the new year I would go ahead and have a GOAL for the new year. My goal has been to have a scarf and/or hat made out of my stash yarn every month.

Well.....the January scarf got done on the 30th of January! Barely by the skin of my teeth! I think I still want to add some fringe to the ends, because it is just a long double crochet rectangle at the moment. We'll see.

On the 30th, I did splurge a little. That was payday, and I did get a little bonus from work, so I whooped it up and spent $5 and bought a hairpin lace loom. By the night of the 31st, I had another single column hairpin lace scarf done! Using the hairpin loom is so much easier than I thought and it is SOOOO fast! Not to mention is looks beautiful!

Well, it is now the middle of February. This month I have 2 birthdays to complete gifts for (half done now) and so I am not sure about being able to get a scarf done out of the stash this month. I am going to be so disappointed if I drop the ball on my goal only 2 months into the year! EEEEK!

My plan, I think, is going to be to complete a childs scarf this month. That way it can be far shorter, and yet still use the stash. That's my story. :-)

I will try to add some pictures a bit later. I have really slacked off too much on getting pictures of my projects and getting them posted.....so this holiday weekend I may try to step it up a little.

Have a fantastic Valentines Day! It is a Hallmark Holiday......but lovely just the same!

Smooches to you all!

Nuurdy Impulses

I don't know what came over me.....or why I am so excited. On a complete impulse yesterday, I joined Twitter and Plurk. I have never even been to these sites before, but had heard them mentioned on a couple podcasts (ok I had heard of Twitter) and so I just went to the sites and joined. It is complete GEEK!!! But it just seems like fun!

Remember the days when MySpace was fun....like all these people to meet and greet and find? New "friends" to be made? But then there was all the pressure for posting blogs on there and talking lots in messages or bulletins? And then it became completely creepy? Well it seems like people who just want to chat and meet other friendly people and avoid the creepy have found a better way. Both of these sites function with shorter messages, simpler interfaces, and more accessibility.

Now.....I have NO friends or contacts on either of these sites. HA! I am totally floating in the ether alone. And somehow I don't care! I get such a kick out of being able to send a text message and just say "work is sucking!"

Maybe I will meet all kinds of new and fun people. Hope so. Maybe not......but at least I am not a TOTAL hermit!

So come find me! I am Nuurdygirl on both Plurk and Twitter.
(also Ravely, but that is a WHOLE 'nother story!)

Simple Things Make Me So Happy

So.....I have to share my joy. It is just too great to keep bottled up and all to myself. Over the past week, I have discovered 3 little things that have provided me with my own little nirvana.

First......I discovered my milk frother. Yes....I said FROTHER. My mother had gotten me this "thing" that is a glass carafe with a mesh insert in side; it looks exactly like my french press. However, a while ago I grabbed it out of the cupboard for some reason (I never use my french press, so I must have been looking for something else) and discovered that it was a MILK FROTHER. The idea is to put warm milk into the bottom, no more than about an inch deep, and then pump air into the milk by using the mesh insert that is attached to a knob in the lid. I tried this.....and while it did take a little bit of time, it was sooooo worth it. If you are a fan of a really good latte, then you know what I mean. Since then, I have found a hand-held type that is like a very small single beater that is battery powered. It works faster than the "hand churn" model, and it does work much better on chocolate milk than the hand churn, but I do like them both. This little bit of effort makes my weekend mornings seem so much more "luxurious". It's a silly little thing that is spoiling myself.....and every time I drink my frothy coffee, I smile and bask in the spoiling.

Second......new headphones. I have had ear-bud style plugs for my ears for ages. The headphones that wrapped around the ear were too loose and large for my ears, and ear-buds are too large to sit inside my ear. Apparently, I have small ears. So over the weekend I got a pair of obnoxious silver-pink, headband, old school, style headphones. I love them! Oh my heavens....do I love them! They fit around my ears, the sound is exceptional, and I just love being able to listen to my mp3 player so much more easily. I am really looking forward to my next business trip, and being able to comfortably listed to music and podcasts in peace and comfort. Ahhhh.......

Third.....the biggest of all. An electric blanket. When I was younger, everyone in my house had an electric blanket on his or her bed. I think this is because the winters in Utah get SO COLD, and everyone liked the house or each room to be a different. Also, it wasn't as popular to have comforters/quilts/duvets/dinas (whatever you want to call those toasty fluffy things) and so the electric blanket was just the bomb. In any case....I have not had one since I moved into my basement bedroom in 1990. Well.....my townhouse is pretty chilly; I keep it this way on purpose because I am gone so much and because it can be expensive to heat this place. On top of my place being chilly.....I am just cold quite often these days. When I would go to bed, it would be freezing against the sheets, until I had been under there for about 10 minutes. I just got fed up with it. On Saturday I went to Target, and found a full size electric blanket on clearance. It now lays across my bed (just barely covering the top) between my flat sheet and my comforter (of which I actually have two). I crank that puppy up on HIGH when I get into the shower, and let hit cook until I actually climb into bed - which is usually an hour or two later. My bed is so warm and so cozy and so comfortable.....and it is SO hard to get out in the morning. It was so comfy....that over the weekend my kids slept in with me, and even my son who is the early riser did not want to get out of bed; we all stayed curled up until 9.

It's funny how very simple changes can bring so much peace. We don't notice the little things that add up to give us grief....but I think that if we are willing to take care of those little things that we deserve, then we are more available to tackle the really big problems.

Ok......utopia and the blanket are calling me.......have a great TOASTY night!!!

Destruction is Cool

What is it, do you think, that fascinates us about the destruction of “things?”

It seems that we are all fascinated with the destruction, demolition, and undoing, of seemingly sturdy objects. This was most apparent to me this week as one of the office buildings in our campus was torn down. Every break we went on, we walked the half block down the hill to spend 15 minutes observing and soaking in the sounds, sights, and feelings, of demolition. The crunch, glitter, and shimmy, of the falling concrete and glass. In between our breaks, we would check in on the deconstruction via a webcam set upon the neighboring building or through the windows of some of the conference rooms. When a large piece of what used to be a wall would tumble and break one of the remaining panes of glass, we would cheer! We are a diverse bunch of friends, yet we were each fascinated by this work of taking apart millions of dollars of building.

This got me to thinking about the act of “deconstruction”. As human beings, we are drawn to the act of creation: buildings, clothing, art, babies. Also as humans, we are equally drawn to the act of destruction. Before we can build a building, we must tear down trees. Before we can make clothing, we must take apart substances like cotton and wool. Before we can make art, we must definitely destroy with paint or dye. Before we can make babies, we must demolish the youthful body and toned tummy we worked all through our 20s to obtain.

There are 2 real reasons for this fascination.

First: there is such a great release of tension and loss of stress when something gets obliterated. Really….who hasn’t felt good when tearing apart something that just isn’t right for some reason? I think there is nothing better when I am really frustrated and angry than to break something glass. There are loads of people who rip paper for this very same reason. Even when the “thing” being taken apart is a relationship and there are hurt feelings….doesn’t it also feel good to take apart what is wrong? It’s the most amazing therapy!

Second: our undeniable need to build and make better. These are not mutually exclusive desires: demolishing and creating. There must be one in order for there to be the other. It’s a necessary cycle. The joy found in watching, I think, was subconsciously about the promise of something NEW. It’s thrill of change. It’s the excitement of the unknown.

We need to have that change in order to grow. Sometimes that change comes with pain and sorrow (such as with war) but is a necessary part of evolution. Our societies, and we as individuals, crave change even when it is uncomfortable and painful. The end always seems to justify the means for us. So as we stand around and gape at these piles of concrete and glass and PVC pipe, we are thrilled with the crashing and crunching because deep down we know that this will lead to something new and different. Even though it is just a building that we will most likely never go into…..its change around us.

Then again…..maybe it’s just that the sound of breaking glass is so cool!

Kindness Doesn't Take Much

This has been discussed so many times….but I wanted to throw in my little bit. Logically, we all know that being truly kind does not require large effort or a big fan-fare. We all know that kindness comes in little bits. But I had a perfect kindness experience that I wanted to share.

When I leave for work in the morning, I have to turn left onto a busy street with a reasonable amount of traffic without the aid of a stop sign or street light. If I leave at the right time of the morning, I can miss the onslaught of traffic without any problem……but this is a very rare occurrence. Most often I wait for several minutes and take a few chances to cross the road. Earlier this past week, I got to the end of my driveway and saw the lines of traffic both ways. After about a minute of waiting, there was a break in the traffic from my left….even though there was no end to the traffic from my right. But the driver of one car from my right stopped calmly, and waited for me to cross. There were easily 20 cars backed up behind him….but he did it anyway. I crossed quickly and off we all went.

This was a very simple little act that took up all of 30 seconds in our lives. All of those cars were going to have to wait for the nearby traffic light anyhow….so it didn’t slow them up any. This small moment made my whole day! No one asked this driver to stop; I did not honk or yell for a space. I drove the rest of my 15 minute commute with a smile. In fact….I was so calm and happy that when a car cut me off short a little while later, I just slowed carefully and did my best to make it easy for the driver to get in the lane…..no honking or yelling or even feeling upset.

We often don’t consider how our actions, regardless of how small, will affect another person. We also don’t often think of what else has happened to someone to put them in a foul mood. Good moods and bad moods spread like wildfire…..with very little fuel. That same driver that let me into traffic passed along a good mood that lasted all day for me and made me more pleasant to deal with. Just as easily, I could have moved into traffic when there was a bit of a natural space, been honked at, and spent the rest of the day snippy at others.

This same day, a friend of mine was at a college to register for a class. The woman at the admissions office was unhappy, and a bit rude. Her bad mood led to this friend coming home feeling unhelped with the class registration, and frustrated with the process; and thus less able to focus on the things needing to be done at home. Again....the mood is perpetuated. This woman did not realize how her mood and actions would affect the life of another person, and this friend of mine did not stop to think about what could have put the woman out of sorts. They chalked the encounter up to being an unhappy person at work and a rude guy that came into the office. A opportunity to change a life was missed.

Being a truly kind person does not take much. It takes a short consideration of the other persons position. What may have happened to this person that he/she is unhappy or frustrated? How can I avoid contribution? What would I like for someone to do for me if I were in the other position? And then do those things…… No asking or questions; just do something.

I Don't Do Resolutions

It is a new, glorious, year.....and 'tis the season for resolutions! Every year folks make resolutions to lose weight, go out more, save more, and so on. However, I am firmly against this practice.

This is my first year as an adult where I am starting off single. This year is new in so many ways ..... just like every day is new in so many ways. I have never been one for resolutions, but I do feel compelled to "formalize" the things I want to do with th is new life I have. So I am going with the GOALS route......

I have, really, just one goal for 2009: make one scarf or hat every month for the whole year. Here is the deal: I love yarn! A year ago I started crocheting and loom-knitting, and have loved every minute of it. Because of this great love, I have also developed a love of fiber. I am not a “fiber snob” who only uses 100% animal fiber (wool, alpaca, silk, etc) or strictly plant fiber (cotton, bamboo)… I focus on colors and the feel. So even if a yarn is acrylic I will love it and use it if it feels right. As you can probably guess…..this has led to a tremendous collection of yarn. These projects can be done with one skein quite often, and usually take only a few hours. And by the end of the year I will have several items ready for gifts and donations.

Contributing donations has been a gap in my life for quite a long time. There is something so much more meaningful, I think, in being able to do donations of items made rather than just the giving of money. Most definitely……money is a great donation and for any organization those donations are a necessity. But when it comes to what I can do to make any difference on an individual level, handmade items and specific donations are my forte. The idea that something that has gone through my hands and from my home has done good for someone else is such a thrilling idea!

So….why not call it a resolution to use up my yarn stash by making and donating scarves? I think that there is such a stigma associated with the word RESOLUTION. Everyone talks about resolutions that they made…..they didn’t last….”I really started off on my resolution well, but just didn’t follow through.” There is something about the word “resolution” that feels like it’s an impossible thing to accomplish. With having a GOAL….there is no way I can completely fail unless I never pick up the yarn and never even try. I will accomplish at least some of the GOAL no matter what I do.

This year is about positive changes…..and my GOALs will be my key to success.